Choosing a church can feel a little overwhelming, no matter who you are. I’ve been there. In fact, I’m there now and I’ve actually found myself in this place several times in my adult life. The most important thing I’ve learned is that it’s not all about scrutinizing a potential church, it’s also about looking closely at your own heart and motives. More on that in a minute.
I really believe choosing a church home is one of the most important decisions you’ll make, so it’s worth taking the time to find a good fit. But before you set out to try a new church, let me tell you a few things I’ve learned about the way I have viewed church over the years at different times in my life.
Things to Ask Yourself Before You Start Visiting Churches
One of the first things I learned about church as an adult was that it is very easy to find fault with literally any church you walk into. Why? Because the people inside the church are just as human as the people outside of the church. And if we aren’t careful, we’ll use those faults as reasons not to be a part of a church at all.
If you’re new to church altogether, you can read the following list as sort of a warning for things to look for in yourself in the future. If you’ve left a church in the past (maybe several) and maybe aren’t even attending church now, I think you should prayerfully answer these questions before you even walk into the doors of another church. Also, this is just a reminder that these are actual questions I’ve had to ask myself and learned the answers the hard way.
Are you judging church members too harshly?
Our tendency as human beings is to apply a more strict set of standards to others than we do ourselves in general. But I think this is especially true when we walk into a church building. These are “church people,” they should be “better,” right?
And this is mostly true, as Christians we are called to do better, to be more like Jesus, in and outside of the church building. But the fact remains that each and everyone one of us fails at it daily, and that’s why we all need God’s grace. Ya know? Sure, there are some people in the church body and the church building who are so much further along in their sanctification. Those who have been walking with the Lord for a long time and being obedient to his guidance. But even they are far from perfect, and they always will be.
Going to church and expecting everyone to be perfect is like going to the gym and expecting everyone to be in shape. What you can and should expect in the gym is to find people working on their fitness. Just like you should expect to find people in the church (body and building) to be working on their obedience to God and their love and grace for others.
Are you judging the church from a place of consumption or participation?
This has been a big issue for me and as much as I hate to admit it, it’s still a lingering issue that I have to keep in check. Do you go to church only to be poured into, not to give anything back? Are you one of those people who walk in, don’t speak to anyone, and walk right back out after the service is over? Listen, I’m guilty of it, so no judgment here, but I know that you and I are missing out on a lot. Not only in what we can get but what we can give (we also have a lot to gain from what we give away).
I have left churches in the past because of their lack of something I felt like I needed. A small group, a women’s ministry, more community outreach, all sorts of things. But what if I had stayed and partnered with the church to bring those things that are missing?
Are you projecting your fears and insecurities onto the church?
It can be hard to get involved in a new church, not because churches make it hard, but because of our own insecurities. I know this isn’t the case for everyone, but many people struggle to get close to people at church. I think this comes from a common misunderstanding that there are only perfect people in churches or at least better people than most.
Many people believe that in order to come to Jesus, you have to get your act together first. Even if we’re told that’s not true, it’s hard to get rid of that subconscious feeling of inadequacy and the assumption that people in the church are somehow better people than you. Then comes the disappointment in the church when you learn that’s not necessarily true. But depending on your perspective, this can bring relief, instead of disappointment. Pray for the courage to be vulnerable and you might be pleasantly surprised.
Things to Consider When Choosing a Church
Here are some things to consider as you pray and seek God’s guidance and start visiting churches.
1. Does the Church Teach God’s Word?
The most important thing—the non-negotiable—is sound doctrine. A good church will prioritize the teaching of God’s Word, holding firmly to the sufficiency of Scripture. Look for a church of the living God that faithfully preaches the true gospel of Jesus Christ, staying rooted in the teachings of the Bible. A doctrinal statement can give you a good idea of what a church believes about key issues like the authority of Scripture, the Holy Spirit, the work of Christ, and the purpose of a church. Without a commitment to the message of the gospel and the love of God, it’s a bad sign—no matter how great the worship service might seem.
2. What Is the Worship Service Like?
When visiting various churches, pay attention to the worship service. Does it reflect a reverent way of honoring the glory of God? Different worship styles can appeal to different people—and that’s okay! Maybe you prefer hymns, or maybe you feel more connected during contemporary music. The important thing is that the worship style focuses on the head of the church, Jesus Christ, rather than on performance. There’s no such thing as the “perfect church,” but a good local church will lead you to worship in spirit and truth.
3. Does the Church Have a Sense of Community?
Church life is more than just attending religious services. A strong church community feels like a family. Look for small groups or various ministries that help foster connection and spiritual growth. A good church is a good place to find a body of believers who encourage each other in their spiritual life and daily life. From youth ministry for young people to teaching ministries for adults in different life stages, the best way to grow is alongside faithful members of the church who are committed to doing life together.
4. What Role Does the Church Leadership Play?
Healthy churches have strong, godly leadership. The church leadership should reflect the character of a man of God: humble, servant-hearted, and devoted to the apostles’ teaching. Ministry leaders should be transparent about the needs of the church and guide the body of Christ with a heart for the glory of God. If you notice a lack of accountability or church discipline, it’s worth reconsidering. A healthy church is led by those who prioritize the spiritual development and personal growth of their congregation.
5. Does the Church Offer Opportunities to Serve?
Part of being a healthy Christian is using your spiritual gifts to serve the body of believers. A kind of church that encourages good deeds and the great commission will provide various opportunities to get involved. Whether it’s volunteering in youth ministry, participating in small groups, or helping with the church’s outreach programs, find a church that encourages the work of Christ through its members. The life of the church thrives when everyone contributes to its mission.
6. What Are Your Personal Preferences?
While doctrine and community are essential, personal preferences can help you decide between different churches. For example, some charismatic churches emphasize spiritual gifts in a way that might resonate with you, while others focus more on the New Testament’s teachings of the Bible in a traditional format. Think about your preferences for style of music, various ministries, and even the size of the congregation. It’s not about finding a perfect church but the right place where you feel at home.
7. Does the Church Encourage Spiritual Growth?
The purpose of a church is to help believers grow in their faith. A good local church will offer teaching ministries that equip you to live out the love of God in your daily life. The early church, as described in the New Testament, devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, fellowship, and breaking bread together, like the Lord’s Supper. This is a great model for spiritual growth today. If you leave a worship service inspired but not challenged to grow, it might not be the right church for you.
8. Is the Church Engaged in the Community?
A church that lives out the teachings of the Bible will be actively involved in good work and meeting the needs of the community. A church that serves is a church that reflects the love of God.
Final Thoughts
At the end of the day, choosing a church isn’t about checking off an exhaustive list of criteria. It’s about seeking God’s kind of community—one that helps you grow in the love of God, glorify Him in your daily life, and use your spiritual gifts to serve others. Remember, there’s no such thing as a perfect church. But with prayer and God’s guidance, you’ll find a church home where you can grow as part of the body of Christ.
So, if you’re in a new city or just searching for a good fit, take your time and trust the process. I would love to hear your thoughts and questions in the comments!
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